Cartman's Most Evil Schemes on South Park
- Photo: South Park / South Park Studios1835 VOTES
Having Scott Tenorman's Parents Turned into Chili, Which Scott Then Eats
After being wronged by ninth grader Scott Tenorman, Cartman sets up Scott's parents to get shot by a farmer, allowing Cartman to steal their bodies and turn them into chili, which Cartman subsequently feeds to Scott. Adding insult to injury, Cartman times it out so that Scott's favorite band (Radiohead) saw Scott crying over the horrific act and made fun of him for it. Later, Cartman is given information about Scott's father that makes the whole thing even more tragic.
Episode: "Scott Tenorman Must Die" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios2582 VOTES
Giving Kyle AIDS Out of Spite
When a blood transfusion during a simple tonsil surgery leaves Cartman infected with HIV/AIDS, Kyle laughs at how the tables have turned against his rival. Angered by Kyle's laughter, Cartman sneaks into his room in the middle of the night with a syringe and infects him with the virus as well.
Episode: "Tonsil Trouble" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios3590 VOTES
Attempting to Restart the Nazi Party
Inspired by Mel Gibson's 2004 film The Passion of the Christ, Cartman starts a fan club for Christians who loved the movie and quickly converts their love of a film into hatred of the Jewish people. He even has plans for "camps" to send the Jewish people to until the other boys put a stop to his plan.
Episode: "The Passion of the Jew" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios4495 VOTES
Leading a Movement to Have Non-Ginger Kids Murdered
When Cartman gives a class presentation about how gross "gingers" (kids with freckles, pale skin and red hair) are, Kyle and Stan sneak into his room in the middle of the night and turn him into a ginger with makeup and hair dye. Not content with being the minority, Cartman immediately changes his tune and rallies his fellow gingers to kill all non-ginger children. This episode actually led to real-life violence against gingers, so, way to go, Cartman.
Episode: "Ginger Kids"
- Photo: South Park / South Park Studios5522 VOTES
Faking a Disability in Order to Win the Special Olympics
When Cartman learns that the winner of the upcoming Special Olympics will receive a $1,000 prize, he quickly convinces his mother that he wants to know what it is like to be handicapped so he can change his evil ways, causing her to sign him up.
Episode: "Up the Down Steroid" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios6446 VOTES
Lying About Being Molested to Get South Park's Adults Sent Away
When the kids of South Park become fed up with the way their parents have been treating them, Cartman convinces them to call the police and make the claim that their parents "molestered" them in order to have the adults sent away. With no adult authority left in town, Cartman quickly siezes control over half of South Park, re-naming it "Smiley Town."
Episode: "The Wacky Molestation Adventure" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios7373 VOTES
Having Kenny's Feeding Tube Pulled
Kenny seemingly dies (again) in a car accident, and leaves Cartman his prized Sony PSP in his will. However, it turns out that the accident didn't kill Kenny, but left him in a vegetative state, mirroring the infamous Terry Schiavo incident of 2005. Cartman soon becomes the central proponent of having Kenny's feeding tube removed, not because he wants his friend's suffering to end, but because he really wants that PSP.
Episode: "Best Friends Forever" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios8409 VOTES
Starting a Crack Baby Basketball League
Cartman decides to broadcast a live web stream of babies born addicted to crack fighting over a crack-filled ball. The Internet is delighted, and his show eventually lands him a deal with EA Games. His insistence that he's doing the right thing is so strong that he manages to persuade Kyle to get on board with his scheme.
Episode: "Crack Baby Athletic Association" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios9408 VOTES
Harnessing a Demon to Go on a Rampage
This one is pretty much textbook evil. Under the guise of "The Coon" (a superhero identity that pokes fun at Christopher Nolan's The Dark Knight trilogy), Cartman befriends a demon named Cthulu and goes on a gleeful rampage. Along the way, they are seen destroying the Burning Man festival, the city of San Francisco, and even a Synagogue.
Episode: "Mysterion Rises" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios10316 VOTES
Championing Legalization of Stem Cell Research... to Get His Own Shakey's Pizza
When Kenny is diagnosed with an aggressive degenerative disease, Cartman gives an impassioned speech to Congress lobbying for the legalization of stem cell research. His heart appears to be in the right place until the very end of the episode, in which it is revealed that he actually wants the stem cells in order to create his own Shakey's Pizza Place.
Episode: "Kenny Dies" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios11365 VOTES
Intentionally Confusing Butters About His Sexuality
Convinced that putting Butters' member into his mouth will make his naive friend gay, Cartman sneaks into Butters' room at night and does just that. Events soon spiral to the point where Butters' parents soon send the young boy to gay conversion therapy .
Episode: "Cartman Sucks" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios12318 VOTES
Refusing to Donate a Kidney Unless He's Granted Ten Million Dollars
When Kyle falls seriously ill and requires an immediate kidney transplant to ensure his survival, it is revealed that the only donor in town is none other than Cartman. As it turns out, Cartman is more than willing to help Kyle - on the condition that he be paid $10 million in exchange for his kidney.
Episode: "Cherokee Hair Tampons" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios13367 VOTES
Bringing Kyle Back to Life for the Sole Purpose of Receiving Fellatio from Him
When Kyle loses a bet and has to suck Cartman's balls, the fat young boy will stop at nothing to ensure that Kyle's debt is repaid. At one point, a ManBearPig attacks, and briefly kills Kyle; in response, Cartman passionately brings his classmate back to life with CPR, not because he cares about Kyle's life, but because Kyle must keep his word.
Episode: "Imaginationland II" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios14348 VOTES
Pretending to Have Tourette Syndrome
When Cartman discovers that Tourette Syndrome exists, he quickly jumps on the opportunity to claim that he has it, so that he can say whatever he wants in public. As expected, this scheme quickly backfires when he loses the ability to filter out the information in his brain that he wants to keep secret. He ends up telling everyone that he still wets the bed, which makes him look totally uncool.
Episode: "Le Petit Tourette" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios15279 VOTES
Flooding a Neighboring Town and Allowing Everyone to Blame It on Global Warming
While playing around on a stranger's boat, Stan and Cartman accidentally destroy a beaver dam, which causes the nearby town of Beaverton to flood, mirroring the events of Hurricane Katrina. While Stan finds himself overcome with guilt, Cartman is completely content letting the clueless adults of the town believe that the dam broke due to the effects of global warming.
Episode: "Two Days Before the Day After Tomorrow" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios16335 VOTES
Driving His Nannies Insane... Literally
When Cartman's mother brings in professionals to try and sort out his bad behavior, the evil fourth grader psychologically tortures each one well past the point of madness. His effect on Supernanny is so profoundly disturbing that she finds herself instituionalized, eating her own feces.
Episode: "Tsst" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios17289 VOTES
Reigniting the Civil War as General Robert E. Lee
When Cartman bets against Stan and Kyle that the Confederacy actually won the Civil War, Cartman gets the men of South Park drunk and leads them on the warpath to Washington D.C. He almost forces Bill Clinton to surrender to his Confederate forces until Stan and Kyle reenact Jefferson Davis' real life surrender to Abraham Lincoln, causing the drunk South Park men to disperse.
Episode: "The Red Badge of Gayness" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios18315 VOTES
Becoming a Preacher to Con Children Out of Money
Terrified of the prospect of going to Hell, the children of South Park stop going to school and spend all of their time at an Evangelical-type church run by none other than Cartman himself. Despite his seemingly earnetst intentions, Cartman later reveals to his friends that the church is just another one of his schemes in an attempt to get $10 million for himself.
Episode: "Probably" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios19252 VOTES
Using the Threat of Terrorism to Get Family Guy Taken Off the Air
When it is revealed that Family Guy will air an episode featuring the Muslim prophet Muhammad, Cartman pretends to be a young Danish boy whose father who was killed in the real life Jyllands-Posten controversy. It turns out that his reasons for wanting Family Guy taken off the air have nothing to do with terrorism, and plenty to do with what he perceives as lazy writing from the Seth MacFarlane cartoon.
Episode: "Cartoon Wars II" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios20243 VOTES
Becoming a Somali Pirate Captain
Fueled by a delusional obsession with the pirate lifestyle, Cartman jets off to Somalia in order to live his fantasy. Upon seeing the reality of the situation in Africa, Cartman quickly earns the respect of the Somali pirates and starts a successful pirate enterprise modeled after his own ideals.
Episode: "Fatbeard" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios21297 VOTES
Convincing Butters He Is a Friendship Robot to Learn His Secrets
Cartman dresses up in a rudimentary robot costume made out of cardboard boxes and pretends to be a friendship robot named "A.W.E.S.O.M.- O 4000" from Japan. He gets closer to Butters, and tricks him into spilling all of his secrets. The ruse is bad enough, but things quickly escalate to to the point where Cartman allows a man to die in order to maintain his cover (not to mention all of the Adam Sandler movie ideas he comes up with in the aftermath).
Episode: "Awesome-O" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios22271 VOTES
Starting a Fake Christian Rock Band in Order to Achieve Commercial Success
Wagering that he can start his own band and produce a platinum record before Kyle, Cartman enlists the help of Butters and Token to start a Christian rock band called Faith + 1. Despite his seeming piety, Cartman has no interest whatsover in the message of Christian rock, and manipulates the faith of others to promote his own success.
Episode: "Christian Rock Hard" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios23235 VOTES
Starts a Business in Which Kids Can Pay to Have Poop Smeared on Their Parents' Walls
When Stan finds a service that offers revenge against his parents who have wronged him, he is dismayed to find that Cartman is, in fact, the owner of the business. As it turns out, Cartman only has one revenge service that he sells to the neighborhood kids: smearing all the walls in the house with poop. Despite how utterly demented the service is, it's worth noting that Cartman conducts himself as absolute professional throughout the entire process.
Episode: "My Future Self 'n' Me" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios24249 VOTES
Teaching Inner City Kids to Succeed in School by Cheating
In a pitch-perfect parody of the film Stand and Deliver, Cartman goes undercover as Mr. Cartmenez in an inner city. Throughout the episode, he teaches his young ethnic students that the key to success in life is cheating one's way to the top.
Episode: "Eek A Penis!" - Photo: South Park / South Park Studios25221 VOTES
Spreading Rumors About a Jewish Monster Known as the Jewpacabra
Ever the anti-Semite, Cartman begins spreading rumors among the kids of South Park that there is a large, monstrous, Jewish creature that preys on the flesh of non-Jewish children.
Episode: "Jewpacabra"
